How do I begin...

Lord, in this new day
I cry out to You
I'm overwhelmed...again.
I don't know how to face it all...again.

The study I'm in is asking and causing me to reflect on...
What is my sense of YOU?
Do I really believe I am loved by You?
What is my sense of hope?
What is my sense of You actively involved in my life?

O Lord
I ... I believe, but
Help my unbelief

Lord, I need to know Your love today
I need to find strength to face the day
To faithfully do my work
To do what I can
With confidence that You'll make it work out

Ah, whether I have "confidence" or not
You will make it work out
I will get to the end of this day, and it will be okay
So why worry?

How I need to know Your love today

Maybe I've known it in the love of my sister
She gave thanks for me
"amazing, loving, strong, driven, wonderful"
is what she said
Somehow "strong" and "driven"
Don't seem to fit with "amazing, loving, wonderful"
And...
I'm not very strong today

Jesus, help me to believe You rejoice over me
How can I believe it?
How can I know it?

I can I almost believe it when I know
how I rejoice over and enjoy others
And if that is how I feel, it's probably how You feel
and so much more

I believe
Help my unbelief

Maybe I'm just so tired...

...

Terror overtakes me when I look and it seems
There is NO WAY to succeed in the tasks ahead
the feeling of impending doom
the knowing I will fail
the meetings today, ongoing for 2 days
I'm afraid I'll be stressed, and frustrated,
and not communicating well with others
the conversation I need to have with others
I'm afraid I'll get frustrated, and angry and
feel hurt at being judged and misunderstood

Can I somehow be "indifferent" (Ignatius) to all the feelings?
Can Your mercy somehow meet me here?
Can I rely on you?
Hope in Your unfailing love>
And ... face it all in peace?
Not wander into all that anxiety and stress?

Is it true You are watching over me today?
Am I one of the ones who "fear You"?
Do I "rely" on Your unfailing love enough
to qualify for the watchful care and help?

Lord, on my own, I will get nowhere
This day, these events truly WILL be a mess
Failure
I turn to You
I cry out to You
in hope
for mercy
for strength
for miracles
of insight and wisdom
and grace and patience

For God alone my soul waits in silence; 

from Him alone comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress;

I shall never be shaken

Ps. 62:1-2

The LORD watches over those who fear Him,

those who rely on His unfailing love.

Ps. 33:18

As much as I am able
I wait on You today
I rely on Your unfailing love