Another crash
Here it goes
How can I stop
How can I hold on
God have mercy
God help
And he cried out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” And those who were in front rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Luke 18:38,39 ESV These are just my messy prayers--like Blind Bartimaeus, crying out to Jesus, believing He cares, He hears, His compassion is towards me. And...He may even provide solutions beyond what I can imagine.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
Hurts to hope
God it hurts
It hurts to hope
Life was easier before I wanted
Before I hoped
That there could be a man
That there could be marriage
An incredible partnership
And love
Should I be hoping, and waiting?
Or should I walk away?
Please lead my heart
Hold my heart
It hurts to hope
Life was easier before I wanted
Before I hoped
That there could be a man
That there could be marriage
An incredible partnership
And love
Should I be hoping, and waiting?
Or should I walk away?
Please lead my heart
Hold my heart
Thursday, July 31, 2014
At the end
Lord, I'm at the end of myself
and maybe this is what I need to wake me up
And bring me back
But honestly
It feels like it could be the end
I...
don't know how long...
I can take
this walking alone
I...
don't know...
What's the point
When I'm reduced to tears
And all out of sorts...
Maybe it will get me crying again
Crying out again
Praying again
Desperate enough to really seek
And quit wasting all this time...
and maybe this is what I need to wake me up
And bring me back
But honestly
It feels like it could be the end
I...
don't know how long...
I can take
this walking alone
I...
don't know...
What's the point
When I'm reduced to tears
And all out of sorts...
Maybe it will get me crying again
Crying out again
Praying again
Desperate enough to really seek
And quit wasting all this time...
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Yearning
This yearning Lord
I don't know what to do with it
But You know
You created me
I cry out to You
You who formed my heart
You who hold me now
You see
You know
You love
You look on me
here
now
with tenderness and compassion
I don't know what to do with it
But You know
You created me
I cry out to You
You who formed my heart
You who hold me now
You see
You know
You love
You look on me
here
now
with tenderness and compassion
Saturday, June 28, 2014
How I need You
God, how I need You to come and rescue me today.
Another short night--I could have done that one better,
but...I didn't
Then, and this is the 2nd time in a few weeks--on top of a short night,
an email...just before heading to sleep
And now I 'm exhausted, brain-dead, and hurting
My brain won't go to work, just gravitates to online forums, conversations
Nothing that renews energy or perspective.
I need to get this down to a more efficient pace
Hurt, recognize, analyze and cry it out...
In the hurt I run to other things
I see the folly of other things...
Oh God, come and meet me
hold me
heal me
Yesterday--and a few days before
Were so good, so hopeful
I almost thought I had turned a corner
On the way to joy and hope
And competently facing
Even to having energy again
And then this...a perfect storm
I cry out to You
My Refuge
My Deliverer
My Dwelling place
Another short night--I could have done that one better,
but...I didn't
Then, and this is the 2nd time in a few weeks--on top of a short night,
an email...just before heading to sleep
And now I 'm exhausted, brain-dead, and hurting
My brain won't go to work, just gravitates to online forums, conversations
Nothing that renews energy or perspective.
I need to get this down to a more efficient pace
Hurt, recognize, analyze and cry it out...
In the hurt I run to other things
I see the folly of other things...
Oh God, come and meet me
hold me
heal me
Yesterday--and a few days before
Were so good, so hopeful
I almost thought I had turned a corner
On the way to joy and hope
And competently facing
Even to having energy again
And then this...a perfect storm
I cry out to You
My Refuge
My Deliverer
My Dwelling place
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
It hurts all over...
Lord, where is the boy?
Was there a "clean-up" last week?
Does that explain it?
Please, watch over him.
We tried to help, but...
My Downs friend,
Why was she heading that direction so late last night?
And why were her eyes wet?
Really looked like some tears coming out of at least one
Is she okay?
Please take care of her.
If she was getting hurt, would anyone ever know?
The church
How much of what they are "getting" and sharing is real?
That lady--her face looks so strained and drawn with stress
But when you ask how she is, she quickly quips a "Doing well, thank the Lord!"
Am I the only what that feels a level of falsity?
I'm deeply disturbed by this
And yet, what, how can I ... help?
And I'm hurting and confused about a relationship
Thinking back
There was hope for good
But now it feels mostly like pain
How did this happen?
Where did I go wrong?
Did I?
Or...is this just the way it is?
You ask me God
To Wait on You,
To hope in You,
To put my trust in You
You ask me to Listen
Which means to come to You in prayer
To hear Your plans
You remind me that you are good,
that I can expect great things from Youl
Lord, where is the boy?
Was there a "clean-up" last week?
Does that explain it?
Please, watch over him.
We tried to help, but...
My Downs friend,
Why was she heading that direction so late last night?
And why were her eyes wet?
Really looked like some tears coming out of at least one
Is she okay?
Please take care of her.
If she was getting hurt, would anyone ever know?
The church
How much of what they are "getting" and sharing is real?
That lady--her face looks so strained and drawn with stress
But when you ask how she is, she quickly quips a "Doing well, thank the Lord!"
Am I the only what that feels a level of falsity?
I'm deeply disturbed by this
And yet, what, how can I ... help?
And I'm hurting and confused about a relationship
Thinking back
There was hope for good
But now it feels mostly like pain
How did this happen?
Where did I go wrong?
Did I?
Or...is this just the way it is?
You ask me God
To Wait on You,
To hope in You,
To put my trust in You
You ask me to Listen
Which means to come to You in prayer
To hear Your plans
You remind me that you are good,
that I can expect great things from Youl
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Do you...
Do you ever get tired, Lord
Of all this "crying out"
Of all my tears
All this bawling
If you could
If you would
Suddenly appear here before me
What would you say
What would you do
What would you look like
Would you
Be fed up with me
Kick my butt and tell me to
Suck it up
That would be fine actually
A reminder of a bigger perspective
Or would you just hold out your arms
So I could crumple into them
And bawl it all out
Til the tears run dry
(Not sure why I didn't finish and post this earlier...written Sept. 3, 2013)
Of all this "crying out"
Of all my tears
All this bawling
If you could
If you would
Suddenly appear here before me
What would you say
What would you do
What would you look like
Would you
Be fed up with me
Kick my butt and tell me to
Suck it up
That would be fine actually
A reminder of a bigger perspective
Or would you just hold out your arms
So I could crumple into them
And bawl it all out
Til the tears run dry
(Not sure why I didn't finish and post this earlier...written Sept. 3, 2013)
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