In this new day

In this new day
At the beginning of this new week
the beginning of several big and overwhelming weeks
I cry out
for hope
for strength
for a bigger and broader perspective
that I might live
and love
and fight
and not despair
not give up

Where do I find strength to go on
I turn to You

Help me to sleep

Lord,
What do I do with these midnight hours...these non-sleeping times?
How can I gain the rest that I need, when I go to sleep, and can't sleep?
Then how can I do the things I need to do, when I get to doing them and am so groggy?
Oh Lord have mercy
Teach me to live
Teach me to work
Teach me to sleep

How do I turn to You

Lord, help me to turn to You today, I'm not sure I know how. It feels like the connection has been lost in ... distraction, worry, busyness.  Help me to turn, once again, to You--directly, facing, focused, listening--to find my center again, regain that rootedness, let other things fall away, back into their proper places, of lesser value, or even ...insignificance.  But I'm so likely to be distracted again...

My following, often, is more like...a face-plant, but with one arm feeble reaching upward, waiting for You to grab, and lift. You grabbed, and lifted yesterday, and hope came. Now for the next steps, brushing off, regaining bearings, replanning, and going forward again.

Your touch

So yearning for Your touch, Your closeness today
The depths of my heart have been opened up, exposed to You

God,
What is this new season?
How am I supposed to navigate?

Ah Jesus
It just hurts lots right now
Don't know what to do but cry

How I need You

How I need you Lord
In this season
It's all so new
So many aspects, all new
You opening my eyes
You challenging me
You speaking
So many things I haven't pondered before

And lots of the old still here as well
The same challenges
Still needing new wisdom
I'm still easily distracted
But the distractions are new
I need new strategies
Or remember the old ones for new situations

Still Seeking Your Face

God...
I'm talking about it more in other places
but I'm still seeking Your face
I'm still crying out.

Thank You
There seem to be some answers
Some clarity has come
Much is being resolved

Yet I'm not sure
Have I heard correctly
It needs to be confirmed
By others
And then there is the follow through


Much courage has come
From
   strengthened vision
   people offering help
   gifts being recognized
   and used

But will I doubt again
Will I stall and delay
When faced with reality once again
   alone in the actual implementation
   opposition
   detractors
   and just so much to do

The default
The easy
Will be to just fall back
Same old patterns


Lead me LORD
Hold me LORD
Show me how to live
To live different from here
To follow through
  

lost

Jesus, I'm a little lost today
It's good that I'm finally crying I suppose
Finally settling in
Finally getting to the heart of the matter(s)
Finally becoming aware of
and naming
what is the real pain
and bringing it to You
Finally

Lead me Lord
Hold me Lord
Speak
...the words
...the truth
I long to hear

How I need to know You
know You here
know You near