I seek Your face

God, how I need You as I try to figure out how to go forward.
The first thing I "cry out" to You about, is that You would guide this "crying out" day.
Thank You, You have already started to...
You led me, to set this day aside, to stay away from people mostly--more solitude.
And yet that one "spiritual conversation" previously scheduled, still happened, and in that conversation, I was reminded, of the different things to bring to You today.
Thank You.

I need to talk to You today...

• About my fears--What are they? What are they really? How am I supposed to push through them?
• About the order of my life, my work, this task, and the path forward--please, bring it from "overwhelming" to "ordered" and a "sense of direction" or "steps to take."
• About some of the people in my life--the relationships--the frustration and confusion there.
• About how to stay reminded of Your love for me.

Longing for a different world

Jesus, today I'm longing for a different world
Is the world and kingdom You're eventually taking us to
The same as the one I imagine
Will all the things I long to be rid of
Finally, actually, be gone
Or will life be just as confusing there
Will we finally know what people are saying
And have a sense of truly belonging
Not being so alone
Or will it be more of the same?

(written June, 25, 2013)

Thank You Lord!

Thank You Lord
I cried out to You today

Nearly despair
Emotions threatening to take over
Yet ideas came
Simple practical ones
   Eat a healthy meal
   Take a nap
And in the on and off doze of the nap
Ideas came
Inspiration
Resolve
Feet becoming firm
Motivation returning
HOPE returning

Thank you Lord
You really do hear
And come to the rescue
Of those who trust in Your unfailing love
Of those who cry out to You for help

May I keep remembering
Keep crying out to you
I do not need to flounder in the emotions that hit
For whatever reason
I can call out to You
You hear and send help
You restore and strengthen
I praise YOU God
You are my refuge
You are my help
You are my strength!
Thank you!

Back at the beginning

I was thinking what I'm feeling and the prayers I need to cry out are different from what started this blog, but I just read some of them from September 2012 and...some of it is exactly where I am now. For example, positive and excited in the day, losing grip on hope in the evening.

Here I come again...Lord, can I go to sleep now? Please bless my rest. Help me to work hard, clear away the clutter, do what needs to be done, because I choose to.

Is there a spiritual part? Is the enemy having a heyday with my discouragement? I will pray against Him too, in the name of Jesus.

Help me Lord, to find the hope, to find the joy, to figure out what I need to do to get there. Please send the help to lighten the load.

Oh God...

In this new day

In this new day
At the beginning of this new week
the beginning of several big and overwhelming weeks
I cry out
for hope
for strength
for a bigger and broader perspective
that I might live
and love
and fight
and not despair
not give up

Where do I find strength to go on
I turn to You

Help me to sleep

Lord,
What do I do with these midnight hours...these non-sleeping times?
How can I gain the rest that I need, when I go to sleep, and can't sleep?
Then how can I do the things I need to do, when I get to doing them and am so groggy?
Oh Lord have mercy
Teach me to live
Teach me to work
Teach me to sleep

How do I turn to You

Lord, help me to turn to You today, I'm not sure I know how. It feels like the connection has been lost in ... distraction, worry, busyness.  Help me to turn, once again, to You--directly, facing, focused, listening--to find my center again, regain that rootedness, let other things fall away, back into their proper places, of lesser value, or even ...insignificance.  But I'm so likely to be distracted again...

My following, often, is more like...a face-plant, but with one arm feeble reaching upward, waiting for You to grab, and lift. You grabbed, and lifted yesterday, and hope came. Now for the next steps, brushing off, regaining bearings, replanning, and going forward again.